Sunday, November 22, 2009

Chicago's Most Wanted: Benny the Bull

Chicago has come a long way since the blood-soaked years of the 1920's-30's. Remember the good ol' days when the city was known for heinous criminal acts and bullets fell from the sky more often than rain? When Valentine's Day was more than just a lame dinner with your significant other? Unfortunately, criminal masterminds like Al Capone and Bugs Moran are long gone. Nevertheless, the criminal element is still alive and well in Chicago, and the man holding the reigns dons a red furry suit and rides around on a miniature motorcycle: Benny the Bull. That's right, having worked with the Chicago Bulls mascot, I can tell you that this guy is one mad mother. But you don't have to take it from me, just look at Benny's (a.k.a Barry Anderson) rap sheet:
  • Charge: Misdemeanor Battery
During the Taste of Chicago in 2006, Benny the Bull took it upon himself to entertain the masses by riding through the crowd on his mini-motorcycle. An off-duty Chicago police officer tried to get the mascot off his motorcycle and Benny refused. After a short slow-speed chase, the officer caught up with costumed troublemaker and Benny rewarded him by punching him in the face, knocking off his glasses. Mr. Anderson argued that he was in character when he punched the officer, and, not surprisingly, the defense didn't hold up and he was charged.

  • Charge: $80,000 lawsuit
Anyone whose ever been to a Bull's game before knows that Benny like to get the crowd going by running down the aisles and giving the fans high-fives. However, during a game on February 12, 2008, Benny forgot how strong his was and tore a man's bicep. The only problem was the man, Don Kalant, happened to be a well-known oral surgeon in the Naperville area. Kalant needed to have surgery and missed more than 4 months of work, so he sued Benny for more than $80,000 in back wages.

  • Charge: Hilarious
Only in Chicago would a mascot shoot players on the opposing team. During a barn-burner against the Boston Celtics on April 1, 2008, the cowardly Celtics called a timeout and Benny the Bull saw his opportunity and took it. Armed with an air-pressured t-shirt gun, Benny shot Kevin Garnett and James Posey in the back as the sissies walked to their bench. Garnett and Posey gave Bennie the Bull a glare, and, said Garnett, “We exchanged words.” After the game, James "Turd Sandwich" Posey made these comments, "I felt threatened,” said Posey, who is considered a villain among Bulls fans for his tough fouls when he played for Miami, and was booed every time he touched the ball last night. “They already don’t like me here already. Two T-shirts were thrown at me and KG. I don’t feel safe. The T-shirts were fired out of that gun or whatever. I feel a little sore in one spot. I might have to get treatment. First, I thought it was a teammate just tapping me. But then I looked down and there were T-shirts and there were only two down there. Let’s see how the league handles this.” Thankfully, then head coach, Jim Boylan, did the right thing and supported Benny's attempted assasination, "It was against Posey so, it’s open season against him whenever he steps on the court in Chicago. I was proud of Benny, glad he took matters into his own hands. He orchestrated it behind the scenes.''

No comments:

Post a Comment